Life, Uncategorized

Are you aware of Autism?

Yesterday was Autism awareness day. This time last year Diddle didn’t have her diagnosis yet, but I could see the signs.  I spent many a night crying and wondering if I’d ever hear her say “mama” or “I love you”. She was just shy of 2 years old, and still hadn’t spoken a recognizable word. My awareness of Autism was limited to the signs and symptoms, and fears about how hard this “disability” was going to be on our family.

This year, Diddle calls me “my mom” (she got that from the movie “Home”), tells me “I love you” and much more! Most of what she says is descriptive, she isn’t yet using words to communicate how she feels or what she wants, but she has a large vocabulary. But now, my “Autism Awareness” is different. I’m more aware of the entire picture, and the beauty of Autism, and less aware of the challenges. Every day I see her Autism, and every day it makes me smile. It’s not a disability or disease, it’s a gorgeous and fun part of who she is. Like her vocal stim for instance. “Diddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-iddle…” it’s kinda like a stutter I guess, it’s freakin’ cute, and it’s where her nickname comes from.  Her love of numbers, letters, patterns, order and routine (similar to OCD) is so fun to observe. Sure, her “symptoms” do make it harder for her in some areas of life, but we ALL have challenges in something or another.  

Autism awareness –  how aware are you? Are you aware of the beauty in Autism? There’s a lot, look for it and you’ll see.  🙂


Life, Uncategorized

New Chapter, New Blog

As facebook becomes more and more cluttered with nonsense and scams, clickbait and drama (or maybe it’s not, maybe I’m just noticing it more), I’m looking for a way to move away from that particular site. I’ve attempted this before. I blush to admit that it never lasted. “All my friends are on facebook, I could never keep in touch with them all otherwise!” That was my biggest excuse. But over the past few years I’ve realized that most of the people I call “friends” on facebook, I don’t really know anything about, they know very little about me, and our social interaction is limited to “likes”, “shares” and maybe an occasional comment. Facebook has become more image/video sharing and less real life news about people we care about. And that’s great when you’re just looking to laugh and enjoy some pics and vids, but it’s not working so well for documenting my life. I can’t ever find my real life posts among all the shares! 😛  So, my solution is to remove the temptation of sharable purdies.

This works better for writing long pieces anyway. I’ve gotten used to posting short and cryptic posts, and I’ve lost some of my touch for full articles.

I’m starting a new chapter in my life. It’s been in the making for a few years now, old walls crumbling, foundations being rebuild, priorities changing, realizing how short and precious life really is, and the realization that the only time I have to make something of myself, is now. For over 3 decades I’ve been living my life to please other people. I was a chameleon, changing into what I thought people wanted me to be. On the outside anyway. On the inside, no one knew who I was. Not even me.

Over the past few years I’ve come to terms with the years of myself I’ve thrown away on a series of acts for other people’s benefit, and I’m slowly searching out who I really am. I’m just barely scratching the surface, but I’ll get there. Will you be around for the journey? 😉